Dear Knit and Nibble,

(James McIntosh and Dr. Thomas Ernst)

An Explanation of the SJW Knitting Mobbing You’re About to Experience

You’re probably wondering how you ended up here.

There’s a mob of puritanical, authoritarian bullies in the online knitting world, who viciously attempt to spread their ideology via pile-ons of impotent rage at anyone who achieves any level of success without bowing and genuflecting to their cult. Congratulations! You’ve drawn their ire and resentment because of your success, because you don’t hate yourself enough to their liking, and because they don’t control you yet. Here’s what you can expect (this has happened many times now with other successful knitters, yarn makers, pattern makers, yarn shops, and authors, so we have a blueprint).

First, they’ll share your profile and this photo around the internet and call on all members of the cult to let you know what a pile of garbage you are for going on a silly tv show to promote your book about eating cake and getting over depression and encouraging other good habits…