Dear Knit and Nibble,

(James McIntosh and Dr. Thomas Ernst)

An Explanation of the SJW Knitting Mobbing You’re About to Experience

You’re probably wondering how you ended up here.

There’s a mob of puritanical, authoritarian bullies in the online knitting world, who viciously attempt to spread their ideology via pile-ons of impotent rage at anyone who achieves any level of success without bowing and genuflecting to their cult. Congratulations! You’ve drawn their ire and resentment because of your success, because you don’t hate yourself enough to their liking, and because they don’t control you yet. Here’s what you can expect (this has happened many times now with other successful knitters, yarn makers, pattern makers, yarn shops, and authors, so we have a blueprint).

First, they’ll share your profile and this photo around the internet and call on all members of the cult to let you know what a pile of garbage you are for going on a silly tv show to promote your book about eating cake and getting over depression and encouraging other good habits through knitting.

The tactic they’ll use for YOU specifically will be fat-shaming (it could be any tactic really, but because you went on a program specifically about weight loss and answered a question about weight loss then this is an easy one for them).

They’ll accuse you of the sin of fat-shaming and they’ll eventually also bring your sex and race into it. You’ll be shamed for being male, white, “cis,” thin, able-bodied, etc and you’ll even be accused of racism and sexism by the people making this about your race and sex. I know. It’s projection and hypocrisy but it works pretty often, which is why they do it. They depend on your NOT being a racist and sexist and on your fear of being thought of as such in order to get you to bow and scrape and subject yourself to their control.

You’ll be asked — no, commanded — to apologize, APOLOGIZE, for your “sins” (which again, you’ve not committed, but that doesn’t…